Confusing times...

I'm just realizing that I unconciously miss school, not the professors or courses themselves, but the day to day and week to week work load: reading assignments, papers, investigations, etc. It's ironic that I work better under pressure and when I have a ton of things to do, then when I have a lot of free time. I remember telling a friend that like 6 months ago, the more free time I have the more my mind wonders and the more unstable I become emotionally, thinking about the what ifs, the coulda, woulda, shoulda's. Which really isn't healthy, cause boy do I have an imagination, and not always for the best....

These last few months have been SOOO challenging in EVERY aspect... in AIESEC, at home, academically, emotionally. Being thrust into a new leadership position like MCP from one day to the next was something very exciting and a bit frightening at first, but now it's gotten to be a complete learning experience. Finishing school adds a lot of new questions and opportunities.

I'm glad for this week's holiday (Easter) so that I have time to regroup my objectives, thoughts and emotions and REALLY get it together and focus on my personal course of action for the next few months and hopefully start formulating a plan for the months after my term in AIESEC finishes. I keep thinking this is an opportunity to develop self-mastery.

I need people, that I've always had very clear, I'm NOT a loner, I need to share what I'm feeling, what I'm thinking with others in order to move on from there and it's been cool to find the most surprising people calling me, writing me, checking up on me. I tend to think more about the things I can improve and therefore focus on my past mistakes, and seldom realize that maybe I have had a positive impact in others... classmates, fellow AIESECers, SNs, close and not so close friends. Which is at the end of the day what one of my personal goals is, plus it's in AIESEC 2010, lol... total goal alignment!!! The newer members have also been an enormous source of motivation during this time, it's amazing to think that they'll be the next generation of AIESEC leaders in Guatemala.